


Congratulations

by thatchoiboy



Series: Angsty DAY6 Songs [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, Angst, M/M, markjae - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-15 09:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatchoiboy/pseuds/thatchoiboy
Summary: "Congratulations, you'll never come back to me."





	1. why

 It's been 3 months since you've left me hanging on the phone. I was completely bewildered. Winter was always so warm with you, but ever since you left, it was cold, freezing even. You always knew what's best for me, you were the one who convinces me to rest when you think I'm working too hard, you put up with my shit a lot, especially when I accidentally yell at you after going home from work and took my stress out on you. Yet you were still there for me.

I miss your cuddles, it made me warmer even at the coldest winter. I miss your scent, your sweet kind-of strawberry smell when I sniff your head. I remember watching you argue with someone at the grocery store for that specific shampoo, you literally scared the shit out of that poor kid.

I miss the cute little faces you make, mainly the one you make when you're frustrated. The pout you make adds to your cuteness. I miss kissing your moles, I've always love the giggles you make when I kiss them every morning when you wake up.

I miss your smile. They always make my insides warm in a comforting way, I would kill anyone just to see you smile. I miss everything about you. After I met you, my life seemed complete. You were the last missing piece I needed to complete my puzzle. But more importantly, I miss _you._

It hurts when I think- no, _know,_ that you're never coming back.

I've always wondered where we went wrong. I thought we were going to last forever, I mean, even your parents loved me, but I guess I was the only one who thought of that. Pathetic.

I wish you could've explained why you just suddenly left me like that. One explanation could've sufficed, but you didn't. Now I'm here like a fool waiting for you incase you ever come back.. will you?

If I ever have a chance to see you again, the first thing I would ask is why. Why did you leave? Why didn't you answer my calls? Why did you have to disappear out of my life that night? Why? I have so many questions but so little- to no answers.

I could've been cuddling with you right now, having you right in my arms where I want you to be. I've always love the numerous times you would fall asleep on me, and that I'd have to carry you to our bed.

I love covering you with thick blankets and wrap my arms around you like a you're little baby who needs protection. I love calling you cute nicknames, especially sunshine. You made my life brighter. I don't think I even need to go outside anymore since you alone shine so brightly.

I love the nicknames that you call me. 'Bummie', that was my favorite one. I love your cute eye smile, just seeing it makes my day a hundred times better. I love taking care of you when you're sick, even though you sometimes puke on me and boss me around, but by the end of the day, I would still love you, smothering you with kisses causing me to get sick the next day and you taking care of me.

I love the way you steal my hoodies and wear them, they would look so adorably cute on you since it was too big that it makes me want to pinch your cheeks and kiss it when it gets pink from embarrassment. 

  
I love you. I've always known you love me too, but ever since that night, I've been wondering. Did you really love me? 

Let's take a break, you said. Let's think about it, you said. What was there to think about? Why take a break? Those words of yours haunted me every single day and night. You don't know how much sleepless nights I had thinking about you.

Whenever I try to eat, I ended up throwing up. Your homemade meals were so much better. Eating with you is so much better. I barely go outside anymore. Coming home from my job being greeted by silence made me even more depressed. Work became too stressful that I quit. I'm jobless, and without you, I'm lifeless.

Jackson came by sometimes, trying to cheer me up. It never worked. All I can think about is you. But of course I would fake a smile here and there but I've never really smiled after you left. How can I smile when you were the reason I smile every single day?

Jinyoung would also come a few times, since we've known each other longer, he could tell I was faking it. My smile, my bitter laugh, and almost every emotion I have. It's sad. He forced me to go out. The sun that was shining so scintillating reminded me of you, you always shone brighter.

Jinyoung took me to the park. Little did he know that was where we first met. It was considerate of him to try to comfort me to get over you.. but I can't. Your face that was oh so mesmerizing haunted me and caused me anguish. I can't cure my disease that is to love you. Never. No matter how much it aches, I can never erase you out of my memory. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. And I broke down. I cried like a little kid who lost their toy, but for me, I lost you. I lost the love of my life.

When I was done weeping and went home, I thank Jinyoung for taking care of me and told him not to worry about me. It's always nice to know that someone is still there for you. But, its not the same if its not the one you want.. not the one you longed for.

My other friends would still stay in contact with me and would give me little hope. They told me to get over you and find someone else. I tried considering it, but my heart would clench at the thought of cheating on you even though we broke up.. Did we really break up? I'm not so sure anymore. You're like an enigma that can't be deciphered.

They told me I could live without you. But you were my sun, and I was your moon. And without the sun, how can the moon function? Without you, how can I function?  
  
  
  
  


Without you, how can I live?


	2. get over you

  
_"You are my sunlight, and you are my dark. You are my beauty that comes from a star."_

  
It has been 10 months without you. How did I survive that long? I thought I was going to die of loneliness. The bags under my eyes have gotten worse, I could feel every bone sticking out of my body, but I never had the energy to eat.

  
I've considered drugs but your beautiful face came to my mind and telling me that it was wrong, so I didn't. You come back to influence me, but can you come back to love me?

 

You inspired me to fix myself. I asked Jinyoung to come over to cook food, I cleaned our once shared apartment, and I picked up the broken pieces of my heart, though I knew, you are the only one capable of fixing it. I took a bath, and wore some decent clothes instead of the hoodies that smelled like you, soaking with tears. I ate a lot, well Jinyoung shoved everything in my mouth and I almost choked once.

  
When I finally stepped out of my apartment, it was like a whole new world. Its been so long since I have seen the sun because when you were with me, you were my sun.

  
I walked along the streets, looking through every store we've been to together. It hurts that I still haven't heard from you. My heart still aches from the thought of you leaving me that night. I wish this was all a dream. That I will wake up from this nightmare and wake up next to you again.

  
I went inside your favorite plush toy store. I remembered how adorable you were trying to get me to buy you the plush toys and would sulk if I refuse. But I hated seeing you frown so I mostly would buy it for you.

  
There is so many things that I love about you and I can't explain it in words alone. It would take me years. I continued walking, allowing my feet to take me somewhere that even I don't know. I stopped by the riverbank. Remember that picnic basket that we abandoned because the police saw us having a date there at 3 am? We were such in a hurry to run that we forgot about it. It's still there. I carefully jumped near it, picking it up and examining it as if it was an artifact found by an archaeologist. I wasn't that surprised when I saw a rotten ham sandwich inside.

I decided to leave it there, in case you ever come back so we can look at it together and reminisce that time we were so happy we could just die. But where did that all go? I sighed and figured that I should go back home. To our apartment that faintly smells like you anymore.

I reached the subway train in a matter of minutes. I was lucky that there wasn't so much people for a weekday, usually there would be a rush hour.. its rather weird. I was in a middle of my thoughts about you when the train stops, signalling a passenger. I looked up and I was astonished. 

 

  
I saw _you_.

 

  
But I soon regretted ever looking up as I saw you with someone. You were laughing with him, you were so happy. I could see how your eyes disappear when the guy beside you whispers something in your ear. And then we locked eyes.

They were so big. Like it could replace Pluto. It's funny how you looked at me with such grief. You couldn't keep an eye contact with me for more than 10 seconds. My world stopped as I saw the guy give you a peck on the lips.

Did he treat you better than I ever did?

He looked like a foreigner, he was skinny but his bulky biceps are enough proof that he is strong. I saw how he made you laugh so hard that you clutched your stomach and started hitting him. I also saw how he said something to you that made you blush like crazy.

Was his jokes better than mine? Was he a lot more cheesy than me?

Your smile, laugh and your usual sunshine aura made me realize how delighted you are, without me. How could you do this to me? You almost ruined my life and here you are, showing up and smiling like nothing ever happened between us. As if we were _strangers_.

Do you know how hurt I am? I never felt so betrayed in my life. As I see you rest your head on his chest, I start to realize things.

You don't need me in your life anymore. You don't love me anymore. All those memories we had will stay in the past forever.

You have someone new now. Someone who can make you happy more than I ever can. I hope that guy treats you well. I hope he'll treat you better than I ever did so you wouldn't have to leave him like you did with me. I felt so heartbroken. But seeing you happy and not suffering kind of makes me feel better. You know I'll do anything to never make you sad.

Because that's the price I willingly took when we started dating. I swore that no matter what, I wouldn't make you feel pain. A feeling so intolerable that would've cost you death. But I don't want that to happen to you. I still love you so much. I rather be the one suffering.

Thank you for all the fun memories we shared. Thank you for loving me at some point in our pitiful relationship that I treasure so much. Always remember that I love you. I sadly smile as you glanced at me again. The train stops and I rose up. Taking each step slowly. This is the start of the new me. The start of me, getting over you. Even though its hard, I'll try my very best.

I hope you're always happy. You and that foreign guy... you two look perfect for each other. I'm sad that I'm not the reason for your smile anymore. Maybe this is the end for us. Maybe this was a sign that made me open my eyes. That you don't belong to me anymore. That we had officially broke up since the very start. 

This is the time for me to move on. The time for me to get over you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter left!  
> thank you for reading ~


	3. i love you

  
You know the feeling when you thought you did the right thing, but it ended up hurting you instead? I think that's what I felt when I left Jaebum so suddenly. Things are- well, complicated.

  
I'm not quite sure where to start. All I know is that after accidentally meeting Jaebum's parents after work, I never felt so disgusted of myself. Jaebum's parents were kind of homophobic.. they never approved of me and Jaebum's relationship. I was surprised when they were in town. Did Jaebum know?

They told me that 'a lowly pathetic faggot like me doesn't deserve a guy like Jaebum.' I was hurt, of course. I never thought they would go that far. Hell, they even offered me money to break up with the love my life. Jaebum's parents were infuriated at me that they started to threaten to ruin not only my life, but also Jaebum's.

I was scared, I can't let myself be a burden to Jaebum's future. I begged Jaebum's parents to not ruin Jaebum's life, I promised to break up with him.. its hard. But its a risk I'm willing to take. For Jaebum.

I called him that night. I said let's take a break, that we should think about our relationship. Even I knew there wasn't a thing to think about. But knowing Jaebum, this was the only way I could do to save his future. I cried after hanging up. I looked at Jaebum's parents who seemed satisfied and left me in the cold streets.

What hurts me even more is that I don't know what he'll do now. God, what if he kills himself? I could never live if I find out he's dead. Did I do the right thing?

I walked to the park. My phone rang a lot of times. I knew it was Jaebum, so I turned it off. I honestly don't even know what to say to him. If he found out it was because of his parents, he would cause havoc and I don't want that to happen. His parents are powerful enough to ruin lives.

I had nowhere to go to since me and Jaebum lived together. I cried harder and rain starts to pour down but I could care less anymore. I was so depressed. Maybe I should have talked to Jaebum about this. I'm sorry for being selfish, but I love Jaebum so much that I will risk my everything for him.

I was surprised when the rain wasn't pouring down anymore. I looked up and saw a guy that was covering me with his umbrella. He asked me if was okay. I said no. There was no need for me to pretend anymore. I chose this path, and its too late to go back. The guy, he told me his name was Mark. I told him my name as well. He offered me to stay at his place. I agreed since I had nowhere else to go.

He fed me chicken soup. I stared at it and before I knew it, I started crying again. Me and Jaebum would always eat chicken soup whenever it rains. I wonder what he is doing right now. Mark was kind enough to offer me his bed, I insisted on sleeping on the couch but he refused. Mark could tell that I was vulnerable. He wanted to know what happened. I told him while crying yet again.

How could I ever forget you? How can I ever forgive myself for letting you go?

 

  
It has been 3 months. I feel much more better than I thought. Mark and I have gotten closer. We would cuddle every time Mark gets home after work. We would sleep in the same bed and he would hug my back. He was warm. But I can't help to think about Jaebum. He was warmer.

Mark was a good guy. He's like a brother to me. He's a great listener. I found out weeks after living with him that he was from LA. He was an exchange student years ago so his Korean was quite good. He looked like a foreigner as well. He could speak English and Mandarin. I would sometimes ask him to teach me the English language.

We would go shopping together, have ice-cream 'dates'. And I was sad to say that I actually felt happy. Guilt would haunt me at night, wondering what Jaebum is doing, what is his life right now without me?

 

It has been 7 months when Mark confessed his love to me. I was stunned at first. Dating him meant that I'm betraying Jaebum. But I realized that, without me in his life, he could have a better future. It took weeks for me to answer Mark. He was patient and smiled very brightly when I accepted him to be my boyfriend. I don't belong to Jaebum anymore, and he doesn't belong to me.

I hate how tragic our relationship came out to be. But it's time for me to forget about him. Our memories together will stay as memories in the past. Things have changed.. and I have Mark now. My parents were sad that me and Jaebum broke up, but supported me and Mark nonetheless. It surprised me how Mark's parents were so supportive of us. Mark had video called them and we came out to them, they had accepted me with open arms. I never felt so loved before. Jaebum's parents always made me feel like trash whenever Jaebum's not around. And I didn't have the heart to tell him that his parents were even secretly calling me.

But with Mark.. I felt so safe. Mark wasn't as tall as Jaebum but I still love him. Waking up with Mark every morning felt like I was floating in the clouds eating strawberry ice-cream. It was that heavenly. I thought I could never go back as the 'sunshine Youngjae' again. I guess I was wrong.

  
It has been 10 months, me and Mark were going home after our date. We had lots of fun at the amusement park. I was so scared of the rides but Mark was there to calm me down. And now we're at the subway station and waited for the subway train to come and when it arrived, we sat near the doors, I laughed as Mark told me another one of his stupid jokes. I looked infront of me, and I saw _him_.

 

  
I saw Jaebum. For the first time after 10 months. I looked at him for a second but I noticed a lot about him. He looked like he didn't eat and sleep at all. I couldn't stand to look at him without the guilt eating me. _I_ was the one who caused this. _I_ was the sadness behind his eyes.

Mark noticed how stiffed I was and kissed me. He told me another joke to help me enlighten up, and it worked. I laughed so hard I started hitting him. He whispered something so cheesy that I couldn't help but blush. I could feel Jaebum's gaze on us and I can't help but feel so awful.

I watched as he stood up when the train stopped and smiled sadly at me, I couldn't breathe at every step he took. This was it. A sign that we don't belong to each other anymore. _I hope you live a better life without me in it. You don't know how happy I was when I saw that you weren't completely broken because of me. I hope you find someone who will love you more than I ever could. Someone who will never leave your side. You deserve so much better._

Though I have Mark now, I will never forget how I loved you.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fin~
> 
> thank you for those who read this :)
> 
> this was my first time writing an angst story so its not that very detailed..
> 
>  
> 
> I was planning to make this story into a series of 'day6 angsty songs'
> 
> (like you know how some of day6's songs kind of connects to each other? i plan to kind of do that. so after "congratulations", i will write the next song that was released after it, which is "letting go"... do you like, want me to continue on what will happen to 2jae? Or different ships but its still part of the series?)
> 
>  
> 
> would you guys like that?? comment below :D
> 
> (I thought about this for months so..)  
> if you guys agree, it will take quite a long time for me to get started but i'll try to finish it asap)

**Author's Note:**

> hi~  
> my first time writing angst.  
> i hope you enjoyed it!  
> leave comments below~~  
> thank you for reading  
> i'll update soon  
> wattpad & aff : exodus_99  
> tumblr : cuddly2jae


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